Lauren shares the story of her first baby's home water birth...For a number of years before I became pregnant I entertained the idea that I might prefer a water birth. I had met a number of people who had experienced natural childbirth as such a positive experience, so different from Hollywood's depiction of birth! So they were the only real 'go-to' I had in terms of imagining what the birthing process might be like for me.
Once I had read all there was to read and watched a few homebirth videos for inspiration, the choice was a no-brainer. If all went well a natural birth was what I wanted, at home if possible.
My choice to have a home birth seemed to stir strong reactions.My choice to have a home birth seemed to stir strong reactions. Some were overjoyed as if the choice to have a natural birth was somehow more righteous than any other. Others were horrified and told us how irresponsible we were. Yet others seemed to feel our choice was somehow a co
ndemnation of their choice! For us it was simply an option that worked well with our hopes and wants. For us the choice to have a home birth was what fitted our family and not something attached to any bigger agenda.
It was not about having a drug-free birth, though that was a benefit. I take a Panado when my head hurts and drink Coca-cola on the odd hot day - I can't pretend to be so natural. I would have chosen medical support if I felt the pain was out of control or beyond what I could bear.
I wanted to give birth in a way that would have me celebrating the event rather than fearing it.I wanted to give birth in a way that would have me celebrating the event rather than fearing it. I was personally more fearful of the idea of inserting a needle into my spine for an epidural or cutting through abdominal muscles for a caesarean. When people remark that I was brave to deliver at home I smile and tell them it would have taken more courage from me to deliver in hospital – bravery is subjective.
Some people have questioned why I didn't choose to have my first baby in hospital with a private midwife as a precaution and then attempt a homebirth with the second. I found the suggestion mildly amusing. If something were to go wrong, I needed to believe that my midwife was competent enough to pick up the signals early enough to send me to hospital. This would be true of any birth be it first, or fifty first. I was my mother's third child after two successful natural births and I was an emergency Caesar! The birthing process is unpredictable; what one needs is to be able to trust in their chosen health care provider. I trusted my midwife completely.
When July 10, the day before my due date, arrived I was not expecting to go into labour. I had worked right up until a few days before, I had been full of energy and had no pre-labour signs at all. My belly had not dropped; I had not experienced any Braxton Hicks contractions; nothing seemed to indicate I was about to give birth and quite frankly I was pleased to believe I had a few more days because I still had a pile of exam scripts to mark and reports to write before I was truly on leave.
...this could indicate the start of labour but I might still have a few days to go...I had tea with my mother-in-law that morning and when she left I went to the loo only to find that I had a show! A quick Google search confirmed that this could indicate the start of labour but I might still have a few days to go. As a precautionary measure I called a friend and asked him to take some belly shots for me as I had been planning to book a photo shoot for weeks but never found the time. Having done that I sat down to complete my marking.
The day went by without any further excitement, no contractions, nothing! Then at around 10pm I had my first cramp. I messaged my midwife and assured her I would call if things progressed and ran myself a bath. I climbed in, shaved my legs - for some reason this seemed important at the time - I didn't want to be self-conscious over hairy legs while giving birth. How naïve I was; my clean shaven legs were the furthest thing from my mind once the birthing process started.
I must have had some contractions while relaxing in the bath, but I honestly don't really recall any!I dozed on and off in the bath feeling quite comfortable, preferring to stay in the warm bath than join my husband in bed as it was the middle of winter and freezing cold. I must have had some contractions while relaxing in the bath, but I honestly don't really recall any!
Then just after 2 am I woke to extremely intense but rather erratic contractions. The only lasted about 20 to 30 seconds and jumped from 3 minutes to 6 minutes to 4 minutes apart, much like the textbook descriptions of false labour! My husband, who I had recently woken timed them for me as I squirmed in the bath.
We were honestly unsure if what I was experiencing was labour or the infamous Braxton-Hicks contractions that had sent so many of my friends to hospital on a false alarm. I was determined not to have a false alarm! According to the books one should go to hospital once contractions (lasting 45 seconds or more) have been regularly 5 minutes apart for at least an hour. It was twilight hours and a phone call to our midwife seemed unfair unless we were sure! I tried to wait out an hour of timed contractions but by the time about twenty minutes had passed I felt the urge to push and I could see bits of blood emerging in the bath water. Perhaps this should have been enough to convince me but I was still unsure...
"What if I've made a mistake and can't handle this at home?"So we called the midwife and I quickly got out the bath! I remembered her saying in one of my antenatal appointments that I should only get into the birth pool in the later stages of labour as getting into the tub too early could slow labour down. As I walked the passage between our bathroom and bedroom I felt a flood of adrenaline and thought, "What if I've made a mistake and can't handle this at home?"
But that thought was fleeting and I was relieved that the midwife arrived as quickly as she did. The baby's heartbeat was good. She did an internal examination (the only one I was to have) and told me I was already 8 cm! "The hardest part is already over!" she exclaimed. Little did we realise that my pushing stage would be a challenge. She and my husband filled the birth pool and I climbed in.
Unfortunately I could not stay in the pool as long as I would have liked as I had used most of the hot water with my earlier bath. We hesitated before calling my mom as things were so well on their way we doubted that she would arrive in time, but thankfully we did.
I insisted that boiling pots of water was the last thing she would need to do.When I first told my mom that I planned to have a home birth and that I would like her to be there she went a grey-green colour and exclaimed that she had no intention of boiling pots of water while I gave birth. The idea took her by surprise, but once she had spoken to a few friends she was reassured that a home birth was not as dangerous and medieval as she had imagined. I insisted that boiling pots of water was the last thing she would need to do. Ironically that's exactly what she spent most of her time doing, trying to heat the birth pool.
When I eventually had to get out of the tub I laboured next to and on my bed. There were no restrictions as to what position I could chose and I was able to squat between my husband's legs holding onto his arms for support. Having him that close helped enormously - I really did not want anyone else's help - this was our challenge together.
I groaned 'til my throat was raw...My pushing stage lasted for what seemed like a life time! I groaned 'til my throat was raw and remember being so grateful that I was allowed to drink the Energade that my mom had brought. My husband tried to rub my back and do what he could to ease the strain. Nothing he tried made any significant difference but I was so grateful to have him close and I remember the experience as one of the most intimate moments we have ever shared.
I can recall my midwife telling me that she could see the head and that I just needed to give one good push and the baby would be here. I was convinced she was lying to me! I had been pushing for what felt like so long that I could no longer feel the contractions properly nor could I feel my own efforts to push and I was sure her words were a last attempt to keep my spirits up because things were beginning to take too long. I felt that all I needed to do was have a bowel movement and then things might progress. I was grateful that this was not the case, but do recall feeling like I really would not have cared in the least if I had!
I had touched my baby – I want to always remember that first touch.I had read many birth stories where women had said they felt like that and had always imagined that it was due to the excruciating pain but realised that it was more because when you're pushing out a new life – things that may have seemed important or embarrassing, like a bowel movement are put into perspective and really don't matter. I remember the moment I could feel the baby's head beginning to crown. It was so soft and had hair and my heart melted! I had touched my baby – I want to always remember that first touch. I tried to give that last push my midwife was asking for but I could not get beyond the point I had reached.
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| Moments after birth... |
The atmosphere was intimate, sacred and undisturbed.The atmosphere was intimate, sacred and undisturbed. We took our time getting out of the bath and once I was clean I lay in my own bed. I was so glad I could have my closest family with me. My husband, mother and mother-in-law (who had arrived moments after the birth) were there welcoming my daughter Abigail into the world. Later a few close friends came to visit and some family too. I could go to my own loo, I could eat when I wanted to and I slept in my bed with my daughter on my chest. Things could not have been more perfect.
In all my labour lasted a total of eight hours of which only three were hard work. As my midwife cleaned me up with a few stitches I remember thinking "I must ask if I am more or less likely to tear next time." Yes, it is possible to be thinking about next time that soon!
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